Long Enough....

After a nearly three year blogging hiatus, I'm back. There is something about getting down my walk with God, lessons I learned, thoughts I have, on here...all of which I have been "too busy and distracted" to do. I also do like the idea that what I share may have even the smallest effect on someone, that God uses me so that He may reach someone and that He is glorified through this.

With that said, I don't think I can recap the last 3 years in a single post nor will I try to do so ;) I'll stay current and share a very cool experience that I had last night.

Over the last few months I've been struggling with the choice on whether or not I should drink. It's a struggle that has followed me for quite some time now. During my 20s, I pretty much drank in excess and whenever I wanted. Back then, at least for a short period, I drank as a coping mechanism and the others times was for stress relief  and the occasional social outings.

A few months ago and as a now mother of two...I found myself having a glass of wine or two to de-stress and occasionally going a bit overboard. I've known for some time that a change is needed. God has clearly and loudly been pointing me in that direction. Sam and I slowly made some changes to eliminate the two to threee times a week of a glass of wine. To many people, a glass or two is not a  big deal. To us and for us, it's means something a little different; it means depending on a worldy idol instead of God and it means, in some instances, a lack of self-control.

I've gone back and forth contempleting eliminating drinking completely from my life. I can't concisely explain it, so I won't for now. But I have been praying and asking others to pray that God changes the desires of my heart.

How cool would it be just to not want to drink any more? I know how cool it would be because I used to be there when I actually did let God change the desires of my heart. Somewhere down the road, I got caught up in life and that brings me here again.

Well, last night Sam and I am decided to celebrate Mother's Day with a nice dinner and a bottle of wine. I didn't think too much about it...the guilt that I had been feeling months earlier wasn't present and the dwelling on whether this is right or wrong wasn't present either. I don't know if that's good or not, that's just what it was.

So I have a glass of wine after dinner, and typically, I drink it kinda fast and go for a second. Interestingly enough, I can barely finish it. I usually go right for my second glass. This time it was different, I didn't have the desire, need, or want to have second glass. I am very aware of that this could be just an isolated incidence :p But what I think happened, is that at least for this night, God truly did change the desire of my heart. I will hold on to this and I will look for Him to do this again.

It is not by my power, but His.

Zechariah 4:6

Then he told me, “This is the message from the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘You will not succeed by your own strength or by your own power. The power will come from my Spirit,’ says the Lord of heaven’s armies.