Two years ago today my nephew Zavier unexpectedly passed away. He was a very healthy, happy, three month old baby. Our world was shaken - an understatement. Our family had never experienced a loss so great. Our hearts were broken and still are. Many times we wonder what Zavier would be like today. That's all we can do...wonder...
I know what it feels like to lose a nephew. I know what it feels like to have your sister lose her only son. And it is a gut wrenching feeling. To see your sister's heart break, sometimes daily...feeling so helpless. I've looked to God for healing and comfort. Slowly, I became at peace with knowing that Zavier is in heaven. Knowing that he most definitely has it better than us down here. Knowing that he is living with our King. Admittedly and selfishly, I've wanted and prayed that my sister be at peace...
But now, a parent myself, I have a new perspective. I have a completely new sense of admiration for Erica. Just thinking about the possibility of losing Alise does not even scratch the surface of what my sister has to be feeling, of this I am sure. I now understand that there is a possibility her broken heart may not ever be healed from losing Zavier. The brokenness may get smaller and smaller as God works in her life, but may always be there.
Throughout the last two years, I have seen my sister grieve. I have seen her grow. I have seen her move forward when I know all she wanted was to go back. But mostly, I have seen her persevere.
Yes, my sister is an incredible woman and continues to inspire me; now more than ever.
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