The Beauty of God....

It's interesting to me that for some reason some of us go to church to feel good about ourselves. I distinctly remember that when I lived back home in the Valley, every Sunday that I made it to church - I felt very proud. I'd call my best friends and brag, "I went to church today." It was like I felt obligated to go to church to show my love for God. On Sundays for one hour...and I'd leave feeling good about myself and the message I'd hear. I had fulfilled my duty to God; I never practiced what I learned. I lived the rest of the week my own way. What a sad way to live...I realized this years later.

The thing is that going to church does not make you close(r) to God. I sort of think going to church does not make God happy if you feel obligated to go. Now I go to church to worship God, not to get some high for one day. I go, sometimes I feel like going, and sometimes I don't, but nonetheless I go to worship Him.

But the beauty of God is that He designed us to do so much more in addition to going to church to worship Him. Simply by talking to Him, spending time with Him...obeying Him throughout the week, throughout the month, throughout the years of our lives. This is the beauty of God - I believe that worshipping Him at all times other than when you are just in church means so much more.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

"God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:24

A New Perspective...

Two years ago today my nephew Zavier unexpectedly passed away. He was a very healthy, happy, three month old baby. Our world was shaken - an understatement. Our family had never experienced a loss so great. Our hearts were broken and still are. Many times we wonder what Zavier would be like today. That's all we can do...wonder...

I know what it feels like to lose a nephew. I know what it feels like to have your sister lose her only son. And it is a gut wrenching feeling. To see your sister's heart break, sometimes daily...feeling so helpless. I've looked to God for healing and comfort. Slowly, I became at peace with knowing that Zavier is in heaven. Knowing that he most definitely has it better than us down here. Knowing that he is living with our King. Admittedly and selfishly, I've wanted and prayed that my sister be at peace...

But now, a parent myself, I have a new perspective. I have a completely new sense of admiration for Erica. Just thinking about the possibility of losing Alise does not even scratch the surface of what my sister has to be feeling, of this I am sure. I now understand that there is a possibility her broken heart may not ever be healed from losing Zavier. The brokenness may get smaller and smaller as God works in her life, but may always be there.

Throughout the last two years, I have seen my sister grieve. I have seen her grow. I have seen her move forward when I know all she wanted was to go back. But mostly, I have seen her persevere.

Yes, my sister is an incredible woman and continues to inspire me; now more than ever.