Long Overdue.....

This post is, well, long overdue. 4 weeks ago, 12/3/11, God gave us the greatest gift, a daughter - Alise Cari Andrade. She weighed 7 lbs and was 19 inches long.

Little did I know, how exciting yet overwhelming it would be. I have had many thoughts and ideas for my next post. But had not gotten around to it. Now it's 5ish am - and I can't sleep. They say you should sleep when the baby sleeps, but that's sort of hard. And really can't remember much about all those thoughts I've had about this post. So if I ramble, bear with me. I figured if I actually start typing something will come.

We are adjusting to this new chapter in our life. Sam does great, and is very hands on with Alise. He is a great dad. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I could ask for more sleep, but you know how that goes.

One thing that I have gotten away from is reading my Bible daily. Pre-Alise I was pretty good at reading a few chapters a day. It was part of my routine, something I looked forward to. Now, I try to read a bit, but it doesn't happen every day. Lately, if I do read, it's the book of Psalms and it's a distracted kind of read. I feel a little like I've been neglecting God's Word. And this is one thing that I do not want to do. I know I need to adjust my daily schedule to find time...I am a believer of no excuses when it comes to God. I shouldn't have to "find time". So, I just have to do it.

Pre-Alise I always thought...God will still be my number one priority. And He still is...but I have been slacking. I do talk to Him alot; I must admit it's mostly "thank you" and "please help me". For me, it is important to keep growing in Him. To be able to live what I believe. In motherhood, sometimes, I feel like I don't live what I believe. Granted I am a new mom, but I tend to worry and stress over Alise more than I would like to. And it frustrates me...why don't I rest in God's faithfulness, His goodness, His promises? Why am I not living what I believe? I talk to others about trusting God in their situations. Why am I not doing the same in mine? Why am I not running to God's Word, where we find His voice, wisdom, and love?

Blessed...

God has blessed our family in so many ways; it's incredible. He has surrounded us with His blessings. The blessings come in all sorts of ways. One that I'd like to touch on is that of our friends. We have seen God working in our friends to show his love to us. It's just amazing....

-Sam's co-workers at work threw him a surprise baby shower last week. We received lots of great gifts. To date, this is the fourth baby shower that we have had thrown by friends and co-workers. How cool is that? For God to supply us with what we will need; for Him to place in the heart of others - his generous ways.

-Earlier this week our missionary friends, Mauri and Kerry, came to visit for a few days. They took time from their schedule to have dinner with us, to share their story and stories about being missionaries since they know that Sam and I would like to become missionaries one day. God - using them, perhaps, to call us, to encourage us.

-My friends who have helped us figure out decorating the baby room. PJ, who took time to show me how to do an art project for Alise's room, LeTricia who stopped by and helped us decide which colors to paint the walls, Cindy who spent the day with me organizing and making curtains for Alise's room. Each of them, selflessly giving their time - God's love working through them.

"For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation." Psalm 100:5

A Little Spring in November...

On Friday, November 4th, 2011 - my second nephew Phoenix was born. After anxiously awaiting his arrival, the day finally came :) Mom and baby are doing well. I'd like to say that I didn't worry about the day he would be born. But I did, and during my anxiousness, I heard a soft spoken voice inside say, "I got this."

Why do we doubt when we know that God has a plan? Regardless of the "why", God loves us and will come through for us. We are, after all, his children. His coming through may not always be on our terms. But who says our terms are the best way anyway?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

Even when we couldn't see it, God knew that spring would be coming...

God's Wonder...

Lately, I've been a bit overwhelmed. In a good way. I've found myself pleasantly surprised at how much I've been enjoying being pregnant. God has truly blessed me with a great pregnancy so far :) I cannot complain about anything. Never would I have expected to enjoy it this much. This little girl inside me amazes me. And with that...

I find myself more and more in awe of God's wonder...how He creates life, how He loves us enough to give us the gift of being able to have children, how He plans everything in His perfect timing.

"Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek Him. Remember the wonders He has performed, His miracles..." Psalm 105:4-5

Revelation...

Yesterday was a tough day. I was a little moody, impatient, and frustrated with people. I could blame it on pregnancy/hormones, but I don't think that is it at all. It's just me...and my human-ness. It's like if somebody doesn't say or do what "I" think they should do, something is wrong with them. Halfway through the day (and this doesn't happen often)...revelation.

I felt like God was telling me, "Who do you think you are, why do you take yourself so seriously"? He went on to tell me, "what about all you read and learn...what happened to "love your neighbors", what happened to putting into action My principles?" He pretty much put me in my place. It was a revelation, a big one.

During this battle in my mind, the following verses popped into my head:

"...Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." Romans 12:3

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection..." Romans 12:9-10

"Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!" Romans 12:16

"If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important." Galatians 6:3

Thank you God for this revelation.

Luke 9:23

Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me."

The last book I read pretty much focused on this verse. "Not a Fan" by Kyle Idleman has quickly become one of my favorites. The book talks about assessing whether you are a fan of Jesus or a follower of Jesus. Many of us say we are followers, but are we truly followers, or just "fans"? Idleman defines a fan as an "enthusiastic admirer".

Following Jesus is not a one-time commitment saying that you believe in Jesus. It's a daily commitment, or should be, and our daily lives should be reflective of this.

Do I want to be a follower of Jesus?

Will I turn from my selfish ways?

Other translations of the verse say deny yourself; will I deny myself?

Will I take up my cross "daily"?

Will I follow Him?

Or do I just say I do? Luke 9:23 is so convicting to me. Alot of times when interpreting the Bible, I've heard that Jesus speaks in exaggeration, sometimes not to be taken literally. For this verse, I think He meant exactly what he said. I think He means if I want to follow Him, this life can't be about me, but about Him. Anything that could get in the way of me following Him - I must give that up - even if it is an American norm or part of my need for being "comfortable". I don't think there is any comprising this. Idleman points out that God wants all of us, wants to be our only priority not just our first priority. That may sound a bit extreme, but I think if God is our only priority all other priorities fall into place.

Take up your cross daily...hmm. Jesus really wants me to carry a cross every day? Ok, so this is not too literal. I think He is saying that no matter what your circumstance may be, don't lose focus of your goal - following Jesus. Following Jesus is no easy task, that's not what He promises.

Follow Him. How? By turning from my selfish ways and taking up my cross daily. By making Jesus first place - no matter what. By loving God and by loving my neighbor as myself. By getting out of my own little world. By following Jesus, wherever and whenever He leads me.

Make Me Over

I've been silent instead of speaking up

Gave my advice instead of giving love

I have been unfair, faithless and unkind

I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind

It's not what I meant to do Cause I wanna honor you

Make me over, make me new, make me a mirror, a reflection of you

Take me all apart, take me to your heart and pull me closer

Oh, Jesus, make me over

Take away the pride that whispers in the dark

Take the stone out of the middle of my heart

Hidden underneath my insecurities is the servant that you've destined me to be

But day after precious day I get in my own way

Make me over, make me new, make me a mirror, a reflection of you

Take me all apart, take me to your heart and pull me closer

Sweet savior, make me over I am only made of your imagining

I'm dust and clay on the wind

Wash me in the river of your sacrifice

Until I'm changed, purified


-Make Me Over, Natalie Grant